OpeningUp.net

We arrived in St. Louis about an hour before the reading, so it was a quick hello to our friend Kendyl, who we were staying with, and then it was off to the Central West End. When I got to the store, the staff was super nice and welcoming, but I admit I was worried about the turn out. Kendyl promised she had recruited several friends to come, but still, I don’t know very many people in St. Louis! As it approached 7 pm, all the chairs were filled and they started to put out more. Then, those were filled too and so was the room. People began standing in the next room over!

Shane Signorino, who works at the store, said he planned to introduce me. When he got up there, he gave a brief history of Left Bank Books, then began his introduction of me, which he generously agreed to let me reprint (here’s a portion):

What better spearhead could one find for spreading the knowledge of truly open unions than a sexually empowered woman with literary, performance, and artistic acumen. Miss Taormino is a virtual decorated veteran daughter of the sexual revolution…How lucky we are to have the Siddharta, the Gaia, the Rockefeller, the Oprah of psycho-sexual pleasure with us this evening.

In Opening Up, Tristan addresses the archaic mainstream, television spoonfed, traditional monogamous relationship’s loss of vitality, joy, and exploration. With the divorce rate resting at an astounding 75%, it is fairly obvious to the discerning mind that something is not working. Why are sexless/loveless marriages rampant? Why has the evolution of the typical union been considered by many to be “the big fade”? Can we not re-examine our suppositions, superstitions, and insecurities to find a more profound way to love and lust. Miss Taormino screams an emphatic Billy Idol rebel yell of a “Fuck Yes!” She takes her rightful place among other visionaries who continually challenge human beings to realize and revel in tyheir potentialities. In the tumultuous 60s, civil rights advocates, sexual revolution acolytes, psychedelic mind-expansion gurus, and all who sought radical change, were pushing for the next step in human evolution. And these ideals have been resuscitated in recent years as we find ourselves part of a great human epoch where our natural resources have almost dissipated and out ways of life must be examined and created anew. So Tristan brings to her readers the most precious of boons: hope for the long-overdue loving human evolution.

Not only had he read the entire book in anticipation of my reading at the store, his introduction was so thoughtful and eloquent, I was overwhelmed! Plus, his delivery was so amazing, he was actually a hard act to follow. I think I managed. I read a section of the introduction plus two of the profiles of people featured in the book.

The reading went really well, with lots of questions from the audience. One person asked about how she could meet other people into open relationships in the area. Several people from one of the local polyamorous groups in St. Louis offered to share the info, which I agreed to post about. So here goes for all you interested Missourians:

St. Louis Polyamory on LiveJournal

Bi State Poly List (Yahoo Group)

St. Louis Poly Community (Yahoo Group)

At least two of these three groups also meet together offline/in real life: there is a Poly Munch the 2nd Saturday of each month from 2:00-4:00 pm at Cici’s Pizza, 9745 Manchester Avenue.

PoDGE stL (Yahoo Group)

PoDGE St. Louis meets the 3rd Tuesday of each month and the location varies. The next meeting is Tuesday, June 24 at 7:30 pm at Gelateria del Leone, 3197 South Grand Avenue.

After I did some poking around online I also found:

St. Louis Gay Poly Triads

I felt a tremendous amount of love from St. Louis. As I signed people’s books, I got several dinner offers, and wished I could go to all of them. But Kendyl, her partner Mary (who had an exam and came at the end of the reading) and a bunch of their friends planned to take Colten and I to dinner to one of Mary’s favorite spots, Bar Louie. It was way too loud in there, but their tater tots rock.

So, we got up early and hit the road. On the way to Madison, we made a brief stop at Carr Valley Cheese Factory in Mauston, which was nearly overwhelming to a cheese lover like me! They had already finished making cheese for the day, so there was nothing to see through the big glass window. We ate samples, chatted with the women who worked there and walked out with 6 different cheeses plus a cooler to keep them in!

We got a four year old cheddar, applewood smoked cheddar, spicy cranberry-chipotle cheese, aged sheep’s milk cheese, gouda, and garlic cheddar spread.

My cheese stash from Carr Valley. Mmmmmmm…

We arrived in Madison, checked into the hotel, munched on some new cheese, then I got dressed. Graydancer (bondage dude, rope artist, blogger, podcaster, and perv) arrived to interview me for his podcast, Ropecast. He had already listened to Cunning Minx’s interview with me on her podcast, and he was prepared with a unique set of questions so there wouldn’t be any overlap. He’s very bright, personable, and thoughtful, and we had a great conversation. Then, it was off to A Woman’s Touch. The store is really cool, and owner Ellen stayed to meet me even though she had a class to go to. I met her adorable dogs, too! I signed some copies of Opening Up for people and hung out until my class began. I presented my workshop Making Open Relationships Work to a diverse group and got great questions. Afterwards, Colten, Graydancer, his partner, and I went to dinner at a local place called Weary Traveler. How appropriate! Tomorrow, we head to St. Louis!

Me and Graydancer

Traveling is going well, but I must say, one of the toughest things about being on the road is that we are carting around clothes, supplies for workshops, books, Astroglide baskets and samples, and all our other necessities. This is what that looks likes:

Yesterday, we arrived in Minneapolis later than we wanted to because there was a major delay/detour on the way from Milwaukee on the 94. Even with the GPS, it was miserable! We got to our hotel, Chambers, and I was blown away. It’s a super hip, modern, awesome hotel in downtown, one of the nicest places we’ve been put up in a very long time. We headed over to The Smitten Kitten, and I was just amazed. The place was packed, and it just kept getting more crowded.

By the time the reading started, it was standing room only and I think there were 75 people there. The reading went well, followed by lots of smart questions and stimulating discussion. I hung around to talk to people and met some amazing Minnesotans, including one of my interviewees who I had only talked to on the phone. Just like at my other tour events, we had a raffle and the winner won a basket of goodies courtesy of Astroglide.

Astroglide raffle winner

By total coincidence, Deborah Sundahl was in town visiting family (she lives in New Mexico) and she came to my reading. Deborah Sundahl. She is just a legend in my eyes. She came to Wesleyan when I was a baby dyke and showed her movie, How to Female Ejaculate. It was amazing and had a very big impact on me. She was a founder of On Our Backs, which I went on to be editor of in the 90s, and she’s gone on to become a leading expert on the G-spot and female ejaculation. She’s truly a pioneer, a heroine, amazing.

Jessica, me, Deborah, and mommy-to-be Jennifer

Deborah, Colten, Davis, and Jessica, and I went out to the local lesbian bar and restaurant, Pi, for a late dinner. We had some intense conversations and my the time we got to bed I was totally exhausted.

Today, I caught up on email, worked on my new book, and returned phone calls. Then, I was interviewed on the podcast Sex is Fun! We talked about Opening Up, porn, anal sex, and, well, everything. From there, we drove to dinner with Jennifer, Jessica, and Davis at Cue at the Guthrie. I had a wonderful scallop dish, then we ordered all five desserts on the menu and passed them around. My Anal Pleasure 101 workshop was sold out, and we arrived just in time for it to start. Another wonderful crowd (including a few repeats from the night before), and lots of good conversation afterwards. Then, we took some photos, said our goodbyes, and headed back to our hotel.

Wow, Minneapolis really showed me lots of love. And the women of Smitten Kitten really, really know how to treat a girl and show her a good time. I have felt so pampered and valued by them. Seriously, their generosity, humor, and integrity is just so inspiring. Wow, I can’t wait to come back soon. And I don’t have to: I will be back in August for their 5th anniversary celebration (and I’m bringing some special guests with me)! Now, it’s off to bed for an early wake up call. Tomorrow: A Woman’s Touch in Madison: free booksigning at 6, followed by an open relationships workshop at 6:30. Hope to see some of you there!

Smitten Kitten’s cash register

Today we arrived in Milwaukee for my reading at A Woman’s Touch in the afternoon. I changed out of my cargo shorts and t-shirt into a skirt and heels, and we headed to the store for my Opening Up reading and booksigning. It is in a strange building—I felt like I was walking into a doctor’s office—but once inside, I was impressed. It’s a really big space, with lots of different areas where people can browse for everything from lingerie to books to DVDs to sex toys. There is a separate room for readings and classes. The folks at AWT were concerned about having an event on Father’s Day, and I am happy to report that once again, it was standing room only!! It was a wonderful crowd, with lots of great questions and stimulating discussion. Laura and Brice, who we met when I came to speak at UWM, were there.

After the booksigning, Laura, Brice, Brice’s friend Mara, Colten and I went to a local favorite, Bella’s Fat Cat to sample some cheese curds.

They were actually deep friend cheese curds with special sauce and they were amazing. I also had frozen custard, which people recommended I try. Yummy all around.

Then we headed to Neeve’s place and met his unbelievable adorable pit bull Hannah Poplar. OMG, this dog is so sweet and lovable. We had dinner with Neeve’s parents, then went out for a drive. We ended up walking down by the Milwaukee Art Museum where we looked at the stars, the nearly-full moon, and heard Vanilla Ice blasting from speakers at an event in a nearby building. Ice, ice, baby.

I want to wish my father, who is no longer on this Earth, a Happy Father’s Day. I miss him every single day and wish I could share the smallest details of my life with him. I want to wish my adopted Daddy, Winston, a Happy Daddy’s Day. I love you, Daddy.

The book tour landed in a hot and muggy Chicago this week! I hit the ground running and first up was a podcast interview with Cunning Minx, who does the incredibly popular Polyamory Weekly show. It was great to finally get to meet this smart, sassy, and fearless poly podcaster! We squeezed into her home recording studio with a camera guy who is doing a documentary about her show. The room heated up quickly, but I wasn’t going to complain about being a little sweaty in close quarters with Minx!

After grabbing lunch with her and Phantom, I headed over to the see Marc and Fausto, the brilliant hosts of the Feast of Fools podcast. True to their iTunes ratings, they were indeed hilarious. They were also warm, generous with the swag, and we had lots of fun talking about open relationships. They played a wonderful song as the intro to our interview, and when I commented that I liked it, they gave me the CD! How awesome is that? It’s Shine by Sarah Bettens, and I love it. I will post links to both podcast interviews when they go live.

Then I headed to my reading at Women and Children First. W&CF is one of the largest feminist bookstores in the country and it was an honor to be able to do a reading there. I arrived about 10 minutes early and got to visit with a few friends before things kicked off. People continued to trickle in and I was amazed to be in front of a standing room only crowd! Thanks to everyone who came out for the reading, participated in the dialogue, and hung around afterwards to keep the discussion going. The store actually SOLD OUT of my book, so not everyone who wanted to buy it could. I actually sold my copy of the book which I read from and marked with all sorts of tags. That’s never happened to me, ever! Wow. Afterwards, I went to sushi with Jessica, Jet, Amber, and Ray, then we headed out for ice cream and cupcakes at Sweet Occasions. Yum!

I am doing a workshop this afternoon in Chicago, then we head to Milwaukee in the morning for a reading at A Woman’s Touch. I cannot wait to go get some fresh cheese!!!