Saturday, March 31 is the deadline for participation in the Loving More sponsored polyamory and marriage survey, which means there are less than two weeks left to submit you answers. The survey is meant to gauge how polyamorous people feel about marriage.
The survey is fairly brief and all responses will be kept confidential. No individually identifying information will be collected.
Marcia Baczynski, open relationship coach and co-creator of Cuddle Party, has launched a website and series of videos featuring tips for successful non-monogamy. Baczynski has been working with open and poly folks for 8 years, so she has seen patterns, success stories, and missteps in her clients’ relationships.
The first video, which is live on Baczynski’s website, is about the three things that successful open relationships have in common. The following videos — which can be accessed by submitting a name and email address — detail the common mistakes that couples make when opening up their relationships, and how to avoid them.
Baczynski is holding a free teleclass on Thursday, March 22nd to answer viewer questions. She can also be found on Twitter.
Alan M. of Poly in the Media gave the keynote speech at the Poly Living 2012 conference in Philadelphia, and the full text is available on Alan’s blog. Entitled “Busting Loose: Polyamory in the Next Five Years,” Alan’s speech details all the recent wins for the poly community, citing positive news stories as indicative of a shift in the public perception and media portrayal of poly folks.
For instance: Unlike in previous cheating-politician scandals… (laughter)… the Newt Gingrich open-marriage episode two weeks ago became a vehicle for major media attention to good open and poly relationships, contrasting with how Gingrich did it . . . Representatives for poly done well are suddenly in demand to I think an unprecedented degree.
. . . Our own presenters Anita and Tim Illig and Michael Rios and Sarah Taub here this weekend were riding this wave last night on the Channel Seven news in DC, representing us and our values just beautifully.
. . . Other milestones in the last month or so: In the space of one week, we saw poly triad families, each with a kid, profiled positively on ABC’s Morning Edition, Nightline, and the National Geographic Channel. More and more of the public is getting acquainted with what multi-partner families actually look like. We are becoming more familiar; on the way to being normalized.
That same week, we also saw a broadcast-TV drama, ABC’s “Private Practice,” present a fictional polyamorous triad family — explicitly called that by name, so viewers would be sure to get it — treated so well, and at such length, that it reminded me of the first breakthrough shows treating gay characters with understanding and respect.
. . . we’ve by and large successfully represented the modern polyamory movement to the public as what we know ourselves to be: ethical people who care deeply about good relationships — smart, verbal, interesting, friendly people — nonthreatening and respectful of all well-considered relationship choices, monogamy included — and by and large just kind of adorable. Every year we are better entrenching this public image, firming up our defense against future moral panics.
Alan’s keynote goes on to explain how poly culture could influence the direction and survival of Western civilization 150-200 years from now. In all, it’s a refreshingly optimistic speech. Read the whole thing here.
“The Gay Male Couple’s Guide to Nonmonogamy” is an article from The Advocate about gay men in open relationships, with tips on how to open a relationship and maintain happiness within it. The piece begins with interviews with several couples whose relationships were monogamous for many years before the men decided to open them up.
The article’s focus is on solid primary relationships and agreed-upon sex outside the relationship. Therapists, a psychologist, and a psychiatrist give their input on what couples can do to ensure success with an open relationship of this type. Not surprisingly, their advice centers around honest communication and established boundaries.
Despite the perils it presents, nonmonogamy can be a source of great satisfaction. “I’ve actually seen many couples develop more compassion and trust in the course of the relationship when they are open and clear that they really want each other to be free, honest, and happy,” says [clinical psychologist] Huber. “Sex is a very powerful, vital source of joy when explored deeply.”
Read the rest on The Advocate. The second page of the article features a checklist of things to talk about before opening your relationship.
A fictional film about non-monogamy will be making its debut this Sunday at the 30th San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival — and as the Centerpiece Presentation, no less! The feature film, Yes, We’re Open, was written by H.P. Mendoza and directed by Richard Wong. It was filmed in just 16 days in the San Francisco Bay Area, and acquired post-production funding with the help of a successful Kickstarter campaign.
The synopsis:
LUKE and SYLVIA think of themselves as a modern couple — always in the know and open to new experiences. Enter ELENA and RONALD — a provocative polyamorous couple that challenge Luke and Sylvia’s status in their circle of friends and with each other. With temptation around the corner, Luke and Sylvia must figure out where they really stand on love, sex, and honesty.
The premiere will take place at the historic Castro Theatre this Sunday, March 11th. Tickets can be purchased online here, where you can also read a more detailed synopsis.
Be sure to follow the film on Facebook and Twitter for info on future screenings.
Married relationship coaches Kenya and Carl Stevens, who were profiled briefly in an opinion piece in the February issue of Ebony magazine, were the subjects of a recent epside of Dr. Phil.
Unfortunately, the couple are handled with the same dramatic, in-your-face tone that Dr. Phil is known for. The full show can’t be found online, but several clips and a write-up of the appearance are available on Dr. Phil’s website. The write-up includes many quotes from the show, in which Carl and Kenya explain how opening up their marriage has enriched their lives.
“When my husband and I went from monogamous marriage to open marriage, everything changed,” Kenya says. “I felt like I came out of hiding. My husband came alive. I came alive.”
. . . “We practice progressive love,” Carl tells Dr. Phil. “It’s not just open marriage. Open marriage is a relationship style. It’s like monogamy or polygamy, whatever. So, we practice progressive love, and what that means is we’re allowed to show up authentically with each other, that we trust each other, and we love each other unconditionally.”
Some clips from the show can be found on the pages of the write-up. Kenya wrote about her experience on the show on her blog.
PNC-Minnesota is part of the Pagan Newswire Collective, a group of Pagan journalists, newsmakers, media liaisons, and writers. They recently featured a series of interviews on their blog, profiling folks who are both Pagan and poly. PNC-Minnesota asks the interviewees about the challenges and benefits of being poly, and also posits questions about the intersection of their Pagan and poly identities. The four interviews are as follows:
In the final interview and post, interviewer Nels Linde wraps things up with this sentiment:
What is clear to me is that Pagans practicing polyamory are as diverse and adaptable as Pagans themselves. Our world has changed from one where the intact ‘nuclear’ family is the place where the majority of people find intimacy. People universally want to experience love, and they will go through much to have more of it. For some people polyamory is the perfect solution to getting as much love in their lives as they can. I am glad someone is learning all the skills needed to maintain that much love! We can all learn from that.
Black love was the topic of the February issue of Ebony, a popular and long-running African-American magazine. In it, Arielle Loren contributed an opinion piece entitled “Why I Won’t Bow to Monogamy.” Citing The Ethical Slut and Sex at Dawn, Loren argues that monogamy may not be natural, neither emotionally nor biologically.
Loren briefly profiles author and love coach Kenya K. Stevens and her husband, Carl, who have been married for 17 years and have had an open marriage for 6. They are “fearlessly honest” with each other, and their relationship style is presented as a worthwhile alternative to traditional monogamy. Loren writes,
In particular, Black America has a fierce attachment to monogamy as our religions and cultural roots shun the idea of polyamory, which is the practice of having more than one open relationship at a time.
. . . Committing to one person for a lifetime without forming any outside romantic bonds is hard work. It’s not impossible, but it’s certainly a tough aspiration, placing an abundance of pressure on the two human beings involved. Perhaps, it wouldn’t hurt if we were open to another way.