Showtime’s reality show Polyamory: Married & Dating may have wrapped, but its cast members are continuing to make waves in the community. In the first media frenzy, they were on Dr. Drew and several radio shows. Then, on September 17th, Michael and Kamala (from the show’s quad) appeared on an episode of The Ricki Lake Show.
Additionally, Kamala wrote a post on her website entitled “How a Reality Show Altered My Reality: Top Ten Ways the Polyamory Series Changed my Life!” This part was particularly interesting:
The hardest part of the project was playing myself. My director’s constant guidance was for me to be more real, she encouraged me to stop preaching about authenticity, emotional sensitivity, and honesty and actually start showing it. After being a leader in the polyamory community for so many years, it was hard to step off my soap box and work through my own jealousy, judgements and possessiveness on camera. This work has evolved me from a teacher — to a role model who has to walk her talk.
Plus, Jessica from Modern Poly sat down with Anthony (from the show’s triad) for an excellent and lengthy interview. Jessica asked Anthony about the selection and production process of the show, the show’s impact on mainstream acceptance of polyamory, the reactions from family and the community, and what advice he would give to poly folks considering being filmed for a TV show.
When asked what poly activists and leaders in the poly movement should focus on, he explained:
. . . I too often see polyamory activists — like most activists in most fields I’ve worked in — waste too much time and energy nitpicking each other over what each other’s beliefs or lifestyle does for the movement.
I’ve witnessed this with our show, reading countless comments about how we hurt the community because we have rules that would chafe many poly people, or our having sex on television and not being polyfidelitous gives the unfortunate impression that poly is for the sexually insatiable or is glorified swinging. I’ve heard it all, and I think it’s unhelpful. For one thing, it’s unrealistic to look for the poly family that perfectly represents poly. We’re all as eccentric and different as monogamous people. You undercut the liberating potential of poly[amory] if you make people feel guilty for not subscribing to the politically correct poly profile. When people do a show like ours, celebrate first and foremost the victory of us getting on mainstream tv like that, and that intelligent loving people were chosen, not drama queens.