Oct 102012
 

Showtime’s reality show Polyamory: Married & Dating may have wrapped, but its cast members are continuing to make waves in the community. In the first media frenzy, they were on Dr. Drew and several radio shows. Then, on September 17th, Michael and Kamala (from the show’s quad) appeared on an episode of The Ricki Lake Show.

Additionally, Kamala wrote a post on her website entitled “How a Reality Show Altered My Reality: Top Ten Ways the Polyamory Series Changed my Life!” This part was particularly interesting:

The hardest part of the project was playing myself. My director’s constant guidance was for me to be more real, she encouraged me to stop preaching about authenticity, emotional sensitivity, and honesty and actually start showing it. After being a leader in the polyamory community for so many years, it was hard to step off my soap box and work through my own jealousy, judgements and possessiveness on camera. This work has evolved me from a teacher — to a role model who has to walk her talk.

Plus, Jessica from Modern Poly sat down with Anthony (from the show’s triad) for an excellent and lengthy interview. Jessica asked Anthony about the selection and production process of the show, the show’s impact on mainstream acceptance of polyamory, the reactions from family and the community, and what advice he would give to poly folks considering being filmed for a TV show.

When asked what poly activists and leaders in the poly movement should focus on, he explained:

. . . I too often see polyamory activists — like most activists in most fields I’ve worked in — waste too much time and energy nitpicking each other over what each other’s beliefs or lifestyle does for the movement.

I’ve witnessed this with our show, reading countless comments about how we hurt the community because we have rules that would chafe many poly people, or our having sex on television and not being polyfidelitous gives the unfortunate impression that poly is for the sexually insatiable or is glorified swinging. I’ve heard it all, and I think it’s unhelpful. For one thing, it’s unrealistic to look for the poly family that perfectly represents poly. We’re all as eccentric and different as monogamous people. You undercut the liberating potential of poly[amory] if you make people feel guilty for not subscribing to the politically correct poly profile. When people do a show like ours, celebrate first and foremost the victory of us getting on mainstream tv like that, and that intelligent loving people were chosen, not drama queens.

Read Kamala’s full post and Anthony’s full interview. And stay tuned for more information on a potential second season of Polyamory: Married & Dating!

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  One Response to “More from the cast of Polyamory: Married & Dating”

  1. Thanks for mentioning my interview. I still have reviews of episodes 6 & 7 and my “activist hat” review on my to-do list.

    As an activist, I want to let poly people know that the biggest thing that they can do right now is to be visible – whether it’s being out, getting involved in online discussions, or hosting local meetups (and advertisng them). As someone who has followed the online reaction to the show on blogs, Twitter, and Facebook, I have seen A LOT of people asking for more information on how to transition to polyamory. Sadly, the show didn’t provide info on “next step” type resources :/ So it’s up to us as movers and shakers to step up and direct people to said resources, info, and communities.

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