In Dan Savage's recent Savage Love column, entitled "Meet the Monogamish," he hopes to squash the stereotype that non-monogamy is a recipe for disaster -- by simply sharing the stories of non-monogamous folks. Savage writes,
Why do most people assume that all nonmonogamous relationships are destined to fail? Because we only hear about the ones that do. If a three-way or an affair was a factor in a divorce or breakup, we hear all about it. But we rarely hear from happy couples who aren't monogamous, because they don't want to be perceived as dangerous sex maniacs who are destined to divorce.
. . . "You know lots of couples who have had three-ways and flings who aren't divorced," I told the skeptics a few weeks ago, "you just don't know you know them." In an effort to introduce the skeptics to some happily monogamish couples, I invited coupled people who'd had successful flings, affairs, three-ways, and swinging experiences to write in and share their stories.
Seven different letters are printed, ranging from threesomes to semi-open relationships. One reader writes in succinctly:
I agree with you that we rarely hear about successful marriages that are open. How do I know? I just discovered that my parents are swingers -- and they have been married for 26 years!
Read the rest of the stories in Savage Love.
Lionsgate Television, the company that created dark comedy Weeds, has a new project in the works. It's called Bedroom Community, and it's a reality TV show about suburban swingers. Notably, the focus will be on the swingers' day-to-day lives and their relationship dynamics, not what happens in the bedroom.
Producer Eli Frankel says,
The world of swingers is mythologized in American pop culture, but very few people outside of it have seen it . . . What we have seen on shows about swingers are primarily older hippies . . . What we found are elite groups of people in upscale communities who are good-looking and have money and access. That glossy version is much more interesting to watch.
Casting was a somewhat difficult process, Frankel explains, as he had to convince participants that the show would not be exploitative.
Lionsgate is currently shopping the project around to cable networks.
Tonight's episode of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, entitled "Bombshell," has an interesting premise: two detectives are assigned to investigate criminal activity at a "swingers' club."
The Woodhull Foundation is hoping that viewers will tune in to the show and submit their responses to it on the foundation's website.
While we have not seen the episode, we have apprehension that it may feature gratuitous demonizing and sensational characterizations of swingers and others involved in the swinging lifestyle . . . help us review the show as we consider any possible response we may wish to make to the network.
The episode airs tonight, Wednesday, at 10 pm ET on NBC. Submit your thoughts on the Woodhull Foundation's website.