Opening Up...

“Multiple relationships force me to stay in the moment and on my toes emotionally, to communicate better, and to face fear on a weekly basis.”
-- Elizabeth

Poly takes the stage on The Good Men Project

Apr 092012

Recently, there has been an explosion of articles about poly and non-monogamy posted on The Good Men Project, a website dedicated to examining men’s roles in modern life.

One article about non-monogamy was posted back in December, but there was a call for submissions that resulted in a good many more articles. Many of them have been posted in their polyamory section, but here’s a list of the best ones, with short snippets from each.

Polyamory, Fidelity and Faithfulness

The more honest you are with your lover about what you want from them, the more opportunities they will have to hurt you, but the more faithful to you it is possible for them to be.

The Poly Closet

. . . it often makes people uncomfortable when I come out as poly — revealing that I am not only capable of romantically loving more than one person, but I am doing so comfortably . . .

Bi Polyamory: Calling a Spade a Spade

Polyamory . . . is the recognition that there is no such thing as an ‘affair,’ ‘hook up,’ ‘mistress,’ ‘Fuck Buddy’ or a ‘Friends with Benefits’ but rather that such really IS a true relationship and that such labels are only the boundaries (positive or negative) that one chooses to practice it in.

Monogamy Isn’t For Everyone; Polyamory Isn’t Going to Ruin the World

I think it is important to set a discourse in motion that recognizes polyamory as a legitimate relational style, and that allows people to begin thinking differently about the variety of ways in which people can relate.

Polyamory: Rebooting Our Definitions of Love and Family

I do long for a world in which we can see the value and possibility of many different ways of forming relationships, and in which we can each freely form our own decisions about the kind of family we’d like to create.

Polyamory Is Pro-Family

We suspected that having multiple adults around to care for an infant would be great, but I don’t think any of us had any idea just how great it would be.

 Non-monogamy, Open Relationships, Polyamory  1 Response »

Have you completed the polyamory and marriage survey?

Mar 192012

Saturday, March 31 is the deadline for participation in the Loving More sponsored polyamory and marriage survey, which means there are less than two weeks left to submit you answers. The survey is meant to gauge how polyamorous people feel about marriage.

The survey is fairly brief and all responses will be kept confidential. No individually identifying information will be collected.

Take the survey here!

 Call for Participants, Non-monogamy, Polyamory  2 Responses »

Video tips for successful non-monogamy

Mar 162012

Marcia Baczynski, open relationship coach and co-creator of Cuddle Party,  has launched a website and series of videos featuring tips for successful non-monogamy. Baczynski has been working with open and poly folks for 8 years, so she has seen patterns, success stories, and missteps in her clients’ relationships.

The first video, which is live on Baczynski’s website, is about the three things that successful open relationships have in common. The following videos — which can be accessed by submitting a name and email address — detail the common mistakes that couples make when opening up their relationships, and how to avoid them.

Baczynski is holding a free teleclass on Thursday, March 22nd to answer viewer questions. She can also be found on Twitter.

 Non-monogamy, Open Relationships, Polyamory  Comments Off

Alan M. on where polyamory’s headed

Mar 142012

Alan M. of Poly in the Media gave the keynote speech at the Poly Living 2012 conference in Philadelphia, and the full text is available on Alan’s blog. Entitled “Busting Loose: Polyamory in the Next Five Years,” Alan’s speech details all the recent wins for the poly community, citing positive news stories as indicative of a shift in the public perception and media portrayal of poly folks.

For instance: Unlike in previous cheating-politician scandals… (laughter)… the Newt Gingrich open-marriage episode two weeks ago became a vehicle for major media attention to good open and poly relationships, contrasting with how Gingrich did it . . . Representatives for poly done well are suddenly in demand to I think an unprecedented degree.

. . . Our own presenters Anita and Tim Illig and Michael Rios and Sarah Taub here this weekend were riding this wave last night on the Channel Seven news in DC, representing us and our values just beautifully.

. . . Other milestones in the last month or so: In the space of one week, we saw poly triad families, each with a kid, profiled positively on ABC’s Morning Edition, Nightline, and the National Geographic Channel. More and more of the public is getting acquainted with what multi-partner families actually look like. We are becoming more familiar; on the way to being normalized.

That same week, we also saw a broadcast-TV drama, ABC’s “Private Practice,” present a fictional polyamorous triad family — explicitly called that by name, so viewers would be sure to get it — treated so well, and at such length, that it reminded me of the first breakthrough shows treating gay characters with understanding and respect.

. . . we’ve by and large successfully represented the modern polyamory movement to the public as what we know ourselves to be: ethical people who care deeply about good relationships — smart, verbal, interesting, friendly people — nonthreatening and respectful of all well-considered relationship choices, monogamy included — and by and large just kind of adorable. Every year we are better entrenching this public image, firming up our defense against future moral panics.

Alan’s keynote goes on to explain how poly culture could influence the direction and survival of Western civilization 150-200 years from now. In all, it’s a refreshingly optimistic speech. Read the whole thing here.

 Media, Non-monogamy, Polyamory  Comments Off

World premiere of Yes, We’re Open this Sunday

Mar 092012

A fictional film about non-monogamy will be making its debut this Sunday at the 30th San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival — and as the Centerpiece Presentation, no less! The feature film, Yes, We’re Open, was written by H.P. Mendoza and directed by Richard Wong. It was filmed in just 16 days in the San Francisco Bay Area, and acquired post-production funding with the help of a successful Kickstarter campaign.

The synopsis:

LUKE and SYLVIA think of themselves as a modern couple — always in the know and open to new experiences. Enter ELENA and RONALD — a provocative polyamorous couple that challenge Luke and Sylvia’s status in their circle of friends and with each other. With temptation around the corner, Luke and Sylvia must figure out where they really stand on love, sex, and honesty.

The premiere will take place at the historic Castro Theatre this Sunday, March 11th. Tickets can be purchased online here, where you can also read a more detailed synopsis.

Be sure to follow the film on Facebook and Twitter for info on future screenings.

 Events, Non-monogamy, Open Relationships, Polyamory  1 Response »

Pagan and poly interview series

Mar 052012

PNC-Minnesota is part of the Pagan Newswire Collective, a group of Pagan journalists, newsmakers, media liaisons, and writers. They recently featured a series of interviews on their blog, profiling folks who are both Pagan and poly. PNC-Minnesota asks the interviewees about the challenges and benefits of being poly, and also posits questions about the intersection of their Pagan and poly identities. The four interviews are as follows:

In the final interview and post, interviewer Nels Linde wraps things up with this sentiment:

What is clear to me is that Pagans practicing polyamory are as diverse and adaptable as Pagans themselves. Our world has changed from one where the intact ‘nuclear’ family is the place where the majority of people find intimacy. People universally want to experience love, and they will go through much to have more of it. For some people polyamory is the perfect solution to getting as much love in their lives as they can. I am glad someone is learning all the skills needed to maintain that much love! We can all learn from that.

 Non-monogamy, Polyamory  Comments Off

Non-monogamy in Ebony magazine

Mar 022012

Black love was the topic of the February issue of Ebony, a popular and long-running African-American magazine. In it, Arielle Loren contributed an opinion piece entitled “Why I Won’t Bow to Monogamy.” Citing The Ethical Slut and Sex at Dawn, Loren argues that monogamy may not be natural, neither emotionally nor biologically.

Loren briefly profiles author and love coach Kenya K. Stevens and her husband, Carl, who have been married for 17 years and have had an open marriage for 6. They are “fearlessly honest” with each other, and their relationship style is presented as a worthwhile alternative to traditional monogamy. Loren writes,

In particular, Black America has a fierce attachment to monogamy as our religions and cultural roots shun the idea of polyamory, which is the practice of having more than one open relationship at a time.

. . . Committing to one person for a lifetime without forming any outside romantic bonds is hard work. It’s not impossible, but it’s certainly a tough aspiration, placing an abundance of pressure on the two human beings involved. Perhaps, it wouldn’t hurt if we were open to another way.

Read the whole article on Ebony.

 Media, Non-monogamy, Polyamory  Comments Off

[SSEX BBOX] Magazine discusses polyamory

Feb 292012

Issue #2 of [SSEX BBOX] Magazine is out, and it’s all about relationships and polyamory! The Spring 2012 issue, entitled “It’s Complicated,” asks questions such as ”What characteristics define particular relationship dynamics?”, “Is having sex with friends OK?,” and “Do our gender identities construct the type of relationship dynamics we embark on?”

[SSEX BBOX] Magazine is the physical manifestation of the [SSEX BBOX] web documentary series, which “expands consciousness by examining and challenging two dimensional, archaic and obsolete understandings of sexuality and gender.”

Purchase Issue #2 online here.

 Media, Non-monogamy, Open Relationships, Polyamory  Comments Off

Polyamory in Winnipeg, Manitoba

Feb 272012

An article on poly relationships was published on the front page of the E section in Manitoba’s oldest newspaper, the Winnipeg Free Press. The piece profiles Michelle and Michael, a rural Manitoba married couple who accepted a third partner into their lives when Michelle fell in love with a friend named Liam.

Her feelings for Liam did not negate, trump or interfere with her love for her husband — which has only deepened and grown for their ability to stay together through the whole experience, Michelle says.

“What I had to learn through this whole process is that fidelity does not have to be defined through exclusivity, she says.

“Polyamoury provided me with a context to make sense of my feelings for both (men), understanding that just as a parent can have deep and equal love for more than one child, so can an adult have deep and equal love for more than one partner.”

The article also features interviews with Anlina Sheng, a poly activist and moderator at PolyWinnipeg, and John Ince, a Vancouver lawyer and spokesman for the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association. There is also a nifty sidebar with quotes and poly terminology.

 Non-monogamy, Polyamory  Comments Off

Take the polyamory and marriage survey

Feb 252012

The media and academics always want to know how polyamorous people feel about marriage, but no research has been done on the subject. In the interest of learning more, Loving More has sponsored a polyamory and marriage survey, and they are hoping you will participate.

The survey was designed by Curt Bergstrand, Ph.D. (associate professor of sociology at Bellarmine University and co-author of Swinging In America: Sex, Love, and Marriage in the 21st Century) and Jim Fleckenstein (poly activist and researcher, co-founder of the the Chesapeake Polyamory Network). The aim of the research is described as follows:

This survey is the beginning of an ongoing research effort to gain information about the community of individuals who engage in consensual, non-exclusive intimate relationships, or who are philosophically open to doing so, regardless of their current relationship configuration. We undertake this effort in order better to understand this community, its beliefs, practices, and desires, and it’s position within the larger mosaic of humanity.

With knowledge comes the ability to better serve this community, to better represent its interests in the public discourse, and to foster understanding, acceptance and non-discrimination in the wider world.

The survey is fairly brief and all responses will be kept confidential. No individually identifying information will be collected.

Take the survey here.

 Call for Participants, Non-monogamy, Open Relationships, Polyamory  3 Responses »
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