Gay and poly in Manhattan

A gay triad is the subject of a new short documentary from producers Nilo Tabrizy and Suvro Banerji. Entitled Polyamorous Relationships in New York City, the 6-minute film profiles a closed triad of three men living in Manhattan (and squeezing into a queen-sized bed, no less!). The men have been together for two years, after married couple Franco and Mark met and fell in love with Vinny.

The documentary features footage of the men at home and around New York City, interviews with the triad about the multiple layers to their relationship, and an interview with research scientist Gilles Herrada.

A text description of the documentary, with many quotes, can be found on Out. also wrote about the documentary, explaining why there's a rift in the LGBT community when it comes to relationships like this one:

Some gays are simply uncomfortable with this notion -- much like many heterosexuals -- and either don't understand the concept or simply reject it. Others in the LGBT community get angered when they hear about these relationships, thinking it's politically bad for gay people and reinforces stereotypes that we're a deviant subculture. Still other gay men have a "live and let live" philosophy towards polyamory, or feel that because we're already considered outsiders and sexual outlaws in mainstream society that we have the right and responsibility to not play by society's rules.

Advice for healthcare professionals

With doctors opening up more about polyamory lately, this post from Cunning Minx is both timely and important: "What healthcare professionals need to know about poly and kink." The post was written after Minx participated in an event at Bastyr Center for Natural Health called the "human library," which allowed naturopathic practicioners to ask questions of human "books" from various communities.

The practitioners were most concerned about how to determine whether a patient is poly or kinky, and what those terms actually mean. In order to create a safe, non-judgmental space, Minx suggests practitioners refrain from assumptions and use open-ended language when asking questions -- e.g., "what is your relationship structure?" Another example from her personal experience:

My favorite personal experience with this was a fantastic gynecologist who, when I was in the stirrups, asked, "Do you sleep with men, women, or both?" I'd never heard "or both" before, and I was delighted she'd asked! I answered, "both," to which she replied with a cheery, "Good for you!" And just like that, she established trust. I knew I could tell her about my partners, probably even my kinky proclivities, and she wouldn't flinch, blink or judge.

Minx also recommends practitioners get their hands on Opening Up, The Ultimate Guide to Kink, and a paper entitlted "What Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory."

Add your own thoughts to the comment section at Polyamoy Weekly.

Montreal triad featured in The United Church Observer

A happy triad family from Montreal was profiled in the May 2012 issue of the United Church Observer, a magazine serving Canada's largest Protestant denomination, the United Church. The triad includes John Bashinski, a spokesperson for the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association (CPAA), and his partners "Blue" Joyce and Warren Baird. They are raising a daughter named Kaia.

Bashinski was in a monogamous marriage for 20 years before moving from the U.S. to Montreal, where he met Blue and Warren -- and entered into a much happier partnership with both of them.

Egalitarian, secular and non-institutional, the family’s relationship is founded on the personal freedom of each of the three partners, he says. All three adults see other lovers outside their primary unit. Weekly, the partners also rotate on date nights, a two-adult romantic evening, while the third does childcare. It’s just your average three-parent “open” relationship, in other words. Bashinski reports they’re very public about it yet never harassed in their progressive, family-oriented neighbourhood.

The article also discusses the British Columbia Supreme Court decision last year that upheld Canada's anti-polygamy law. As part of the CPAA, Bashinski was one of the people who testified in favor of egalitarian multi-partner relationships.

Read the rest at the United Church Observer.

Loving More’s 26th Annual National Polyamory Retreat

Loving More's 26th annual polyamory retreat is planned for September 7-9. Although that's a couple months away, there's an early registration special that ends on July 1st -- so to get the best deal possible, you'll want to register soon.

The three day, two night retreat will be held at the Easton Mountain Retreat Center in Greenwich, New York, which is located on 175 acres and provides a calming atmosphere in which to unwind, explore, disconnect from technology, and engage with and learn from other polyamorous folks. Feel free to swim, hike, hot tub, and more -- past retreats have included live music, dance parties, snuggling parties, drum circles, and movie nights.

Additionally, there will be over a dozen workshops and playshops from experienced presenters from all around the country.

The basic retreat fee includes all meals, use of Easton Mountain facilities, camping, and workshops. A limited number of bunkhouse rooms/beds are available at an extra cost.

Early registration starts at $250 for Loving More Members. Register online today!