Allena Gabosch is a polyamorous woman and the founder of Seattle's Center for Sex Positivity. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer, she turned to her partners for support and comfort. In "Breast Cancer and Polyamory: A Story of Non-Monogamy, Love and Commitment While Going Through Chemo," Rachel Rabbit White interviews Gabosch about the ups and downs of dealing with cancer as a poly woman.
Gabosch quickly found that being poly was a huge asset in her fight against breast cancer. Her partners were able to comfort each other. Gabosch became much closer with her partner's primary, Sophie, who treated her with an array of herbal remedies and vitamins, and she bonded with Sophie's daughter as well. She was always surrounded by love.
The most incredible part was I never went to the oncologist, to chemo, or to surgery without one or more of my partners with me. When I went in for the lobectomy . . . As they were wheeling me away, I showered each lover in kisses. The nurses did look at each other, like, 'well this is strange.'
There were other unforeseen benefits as well. When Gabosch's sex drive diminished, she did not have to worry about whether her partners' sexual needs were being met. Gabosch even met a new partner, right in the middle of her battle.
Dealing with cancer only strengthened Gabosch's belief in polyamory.
In both cancer and love, for me it is about not being at the whims of society and what you are supposed to do, but being proactive and finding what really works for you, and I think being poly has a lot to do with shaping that idea.
. . . I learned a lot about love and commitment and how committed these people truly are to me. One of the ideas people have about polyamory is “well you guys don’t know how to commit, that is why you are poly” I always knew that wasn’t true but here I was really seeing it, my partners were so committed to me, 100 percent . . . I never lacked for attention for my entire cancer experience, and that is a powerful place to come from.
This interview is an ultimately uplifting reminder of the shortness of life and the importance of support and love. Read the full interview in SexIs Magazine.