Buy The Polyamorists Next Door today!

The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and FamiliesDr. Eli Sheff's new book, The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families, has been released -- and I encourage you to buy it today. Doing so can help it become a top seller in its category, which can lead to a less expensive paperback version and hopefully more mainstream recognition.

Eli Sheff is an important voice in the poly world. She was a guest on my radio show, Sex Out Loud, and has been on panels about polyamory, an expert on TV shows discussing polyamory, and a frequent source of quotes for mainstream articles exploring non-monogamy.

Sheff is one of the premiere experts on children in polyamorous families, and so The Polyamorists Next Door is a fascinating and important look at families:

In colorful and moving details, this book explores how polyamorous relationships come to be, grow and change, manage the ins and outs of daily family life, and cope with the challenges they face both within their families and from society at large. Using polyamorists own words, Dr. Elisabeth Sheff examines polyamorous households and reveals their advantages, disadvantages, and the daily lives of those living in them.

. . . This book provides information that will be useful for professionals with polyamorous clients, educators who wish to understand or teach about polyamory, and especially people who wish to better understand polyamory themselves or explain it to their potential partners, adult children, or in-laws.

Go buy The Polyamorists Next Door today to help push it to the top of its category -- where it belongs!

Today on Sex Out Loud: Dr. Eli Sheff

dr eli sheffToday's episode of my radio show, Sex Out Loud, will feature two guests talking about their important work giving voices to those often marginalized. First I talk to Nan Kinney, who founded Fatale Media in 1985 when there was no porn made by and for women.

Then, Dr. Eli Sheff will talk about her new book based on her groundbreaking work with Polyamorous Family Study, a 16 year project whose mission is to provide high-quality, research-based information about poly families with kids using sound research methods based in years of sociological study.

Read more about both guests here, and tune in at 8 p.m. EST, 5 p.m. PST.

Today's show is live, so you can call in with questions at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or even e-mail tristan(at) and I'll read them live on the air!

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Canada’s The Globe and Mail talks poly

Canada's largest national newspaper, The Globe and Mail, came out with an article on polyamory that is surprisingly non-judgmental. Although it doesn't offer much more than a cursory look at the community, it does a good job of explaining what polyamory is about to those who may have questions.

The article begins by mentioning recent newsworthy poly stuff, such as the three-person civil union in Brazil and the Showtime reality show. It gives some history of the movement, mentions some public figures and books (including Opening Up), and discusses last December's Supreme Court decision in British Columbia. The author also makes the distinction between polyamory and polygamy.

The crux of the article, though, are the quotes from Natalia Garcia (creator and executive producer of Polyamory: Married & Dating), Elisabeth Sheff (sociologist who has studied polyamorous families for years), an anonymous poly couple, and Kamala Devi (one of the cast members of Polyamory: Married & Dating).

It's a pretty great introductory article to the world of polaymory as it stands today. Read the whole thing at The Globe and Mail.

Philly psychiatrists educate on polyamory

Recently, a panel of experts convened at a meeting of the American Psychiatric Association in Philadelphia and held a session on polyamory. The session was called "Polyamory (responsible non-monogamy), an emerging relationship orientation/presenting issue: Research and clinical information to improve care," and it was quite possibly the first formal discussion about polyamory at a psychiatry convention.

An article for the Philadelphia Inquirer recounts the session. The experts leading the panel were psychiatrist William Slaughter, sociologist Eli Sheff, and psychologist Richard Sprott. Aside from educating the audience on the meanings of words such as "primary," "secondary," "swinging," and "compersion," the experts also explained that the number of poly folks is increasing and discussed why the poly relationship model is not only acceptable, but successful.

A panel of experts at the American Psychiatric Association meeting in Philadelphia last week said that open relationships between more than two people can work, but it requires a lot of talk about rules, boundaries, and time spent with various lovers.

William Slaughter, a psychiatrist in Cambridge, Mass., who has been treating polyamorous patients for about five years, said they need to have very good communication skills and be especially good at "mentalizing" or understanding others' emotional reactions.

. . . The important point for therapists, she said, is that polyamorous families are "not definitionally pathological." While they don't follow conventional morals, they do establish clear ethical codes that emphasize honesty and treating others well.

Read the rest at the Philadelphia Inquirer.