A journalist for an international, reputable publication wants to write an intimate, thoughtful longform piece that follows a married couple as they start the process of opening up their marriage to ethical nonmonogamy. Ideally, this couple is in engaging in couples therapy as they navigate this new phase of their marriage; those conversations, recounted or recalled, would provide structure for the story and a way of clearly translating the complexity of the thought process of the couple. The couple could remain unidentifiable; ideally, the therapist would use his or her name, although that could possibly be discussed as well. This article would seek not to sensationalize this phase of the marriage, but explore it as an increasingly logical, even possibly conventional option, in a world in which the traditional family has already been reconceived and marriage itself has expanded its definitions. The piece, which could be part of a larger cultural reframing, has potential for high impact. If you're interested, please email asktristan [at] gmail.com and I'll connect you with the journalist.
Participants needed for Qualitative Study
Vanilla and Kink: Married Couples in Which One Partner Identifies as a Part of the BDSM Culture and the Other Partner Does Not.
Looking for a legally married couple:
- At least 18 years of age
- Married for at least 1 year (including open-marriage and other variations)
- Male and female partnered marriage
- Speak and write English language fluently
- One partner self-identifying as a part of the BDSM culture/community for at least 1 year and the other partner self-identifying as not specifically BDSM (including vanilla, kinky but not identifying as BDSM, etc. )
- Not currently pregnant or experiencing psychosis or suicidal ideation
Due to the limited time and resources, this particular study focuses the above specific population. Future research will include a variety of types of committed relationships, sexual orientations, etc.
For questions or interest in participation, contact:
Catherine Meyer, MA, LMFT #88224, Cmeyer2 [at] alliant.edu
Supervised by Hao-Min Chen, Ph.D., Hmchen [at] alliant.edu
Goal of this study is to understand how married couples communicate and negotiate the rules, roles, and expectations about their sexual relationship when one partner identifies with the BDSM culture and the other does not.
All identifying information will be kept confidential.
I’m currently seeking 20 female and male individuals who are interested in speaking about their experiences of being in a marriage in which one partner identifies being in the BDSM culture and the other does not. The interviews are part of a doctoral dissertation study (entitled Vanilla and Kink: Married Couples in Which One Partner Identifies as a Part of the BDSM Culture and the Other Partner Does Not?) which is required to fulfill the requirements for the doctoral degree of the Couple Family Therapy Program at Alliant International University, Irvine campus. The project supervisor for this study is Hao-Min Chen, Ph.D. The study is interested in learning about and understanding how married couples communicate and negotiate the rules, roles, and expectations about their sexual relationship when one partner identifies with the BDSM culture and the other does not. Criteria for participation includes the following: at least 18 years of age, male and female partnered marriage, ability to speak and write the English language fluently, self-report being a part of the BDSM community for at least 1 year, be in a marriage for at least 1 year (inclusive of open-marriage), and not currently pregnant or experiencing psychosis or suicidal ideation. Interested individuals will be asked to fill out a short demographic questionnaire (about 5 minutes to complete) and participate in an interview, which will last approximately 60-90 minutes. Please note that participation in the study is voluntary. If you choose to participant in the study, I will be removing your name and any other identifying information from the final document to conceal your identity. If you are interested in being interviewed for the study and/or would like more information, then please contact me by email or phone so we can discuss, in more detail, the purpose and the process of the study. —Catherine Meyer, MA, LMFT
Come see Tristan at SHE Sexual Health Expo in Los Angeles January 16-17, 2016. Featuring today’s leaders in sex, intimacy and romance, SHE will deliver a crash course in understanding modern sexual relationships with must-attend workshops and captivating intimacy product showcases — all with the chic backdrop of its stylish venues. Sex experts include Amy Jo Goddard, Elle Chase, Charlie Glickman, Mollena Williams, Allison Moon, Reid Mihalko, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Chris Donaghue, and many more.
Tristan’s appearances will all be on Saturday, January 16. Her schedule is:
4:30-5:20 pm Designing Your Open Relationship Workshop
Are you considering an open relationship? Does your current open relationship need some tweaking? There are few established scripts or visible role models for open relationships, so people in them can struggle without support and guidance. In this interactive workshop, relationship expert and author of Opening Up, Tristan Taormino gives practical advice on how to craft responsible, fulfilling nonmonogamous relationships. Tristan will explore common myths, real-life benefits and challenges, and how to decide if an open relationship is right for you. She will share some of the most common styles of open relationships-from partnered nonmonogamy to solo polyamory-and discuss how to customize them to meet your individual needs and wants. Through creative exercises, you’ll learn to articulate what you want, identify and negotiate limits and boundaries, communicate with your partner(s) in productive ways, and create relationships that work for you.
5:30-6:00 pm Booksigning
Tristan will be signing her books Opening Up, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, The Ultimate Guide to Kink, 50 Shades of Kink, Anal Sex Position Guide, and Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation. The books will be for sale from The Pleasure Chest booth.
6:00 pm Mix & Meet
Tristan will be on hand to meet with attendees, plus she'll have her books and other products for sale.
Hilton Universal City Hotel, Los Angeles, CA
Admission: Tickets are $25 each, buy them at Eventbrite. Get 2-for-1 tickets when you use promotional code TRISTANT.
How do people create nontraditional partnerships that are loving and fulfilling? There are few established scripts or visible role models for open relationships, so people in them can often struggle without support and guidance. In this four hour intensive program, sex and relationship educator Tristan Taormino shares some of the key principles that can help your open relationships succeed. She will review some of the most common styles of open relationships, from partnered nonmonogamy to solo polyamory, and discuss how to customize them to meet your individual needs and wants. She will share wisdom from the over 100 people she interviewed and profiled in her bestselling book Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships.
The workshop will address common issues and problems including:
- New relationship energy
- Time management
- Sexual and emotional safety
- Boundary setting
- Agreement violations
- Coping with change
Through creative exercises, you’ll discover how to unpack all the different elements of jealousy and identify what triggers your jealousy and how it manifests for you; learn to develop coping strategies and find access points to the practice of compersion.
Learn how to tackle challenges including:
- Communicating about highly-charged topics
- Conflict resolution skills
- The art of re-negotiation
- Roadblocks to fulfillment
- Confronting fear
Whether you’re a newcomer or veteran to the world beyond monogamy, come discover strategies to help you nurture and grow your open relationships. Open to people in all kinds of relationship configurations as well as solos and singles of all genders and sexual orientations. Seating is limited and pre-registration is strongly encouraged.
Date and Time: Sunday, November 15, 2015, 1:00-5:00 pm
Location: The Stockroom, 2809 1/2 Sunset Boulevard Los Angeles, CA 90026.
Admission: Register at Eventbrite. Open to people in all kinds of relationship configurations as well as solos and singles of all genders and sexual orientations. Seating is limited and pre-registration is strongly encouraged.
Early Bird (through October 15) $75
VIP $125: priority seating, personalized signed copy of Opening Up, gift bag
VIP + Dinner $200: priority seating, personalized signed copy of Opening Up, autographed DVD, luxury gift bag, dinner with Tristan after the workshop