Author: Tristan Taormino

Progressive love on Dr. Phil

Married relationship coaches Kenya and Carl Stevens, who were profiled briefly in an opinion piece in the February issue of Ebony magazine, were the subjects of a recent epside of Dr. Phil.

Unfortunately, the couple are handled with the same dramatic, in-your-face tone that Dr. Phil is known for. The full show can't be found online, but several clips and a write-up of the appearance are available on Dr. Phil's website. The write-up includes many quotes from the show, in which Carl and Kenya explain how opening up their marriage has enriched their lives.

"When my husband and I went from monogamous marriage to open marriage, everything changed," Kenya says. "I felt like I came out of hiding. My husband came alive. I came alive."

. . . "We practice progressive love," Carl tells Dr. Phil. "It's not just open marriage. Open marriage is a relationship style. It's like monogamy or polygamy, whatever. So, we practice progressive love, and what that means is we're allowed to show up authentically with each other, that we trust each other, and we love each other unconditionally."

Some clips from the show can be found on the pages of the write-up. Kenya wrote about her experience on the show on her blog.

Pagan and poly interview series

PNC-Minnesota is part of the Pagan Newswire Collective, a group of Pagan journalists, newsmakers, media liaisons, and writers. They recently featured a series of interviews on their blog, profiling folks who are both Pagan and poly. PNC-Minnesota asks the interviewees about the challenges and benefits of being poly, and also posits questions about the intersection of their Pagan and poly identities. The four interviews are as follows:

In the final interview and post, interviewer Nels Linde wraps things up with this sentiment:

What is clear to me is that Pagans practicing polyamory are as diverse and adaptable as Pagans themselves. Our world has changed from one where the intact 'nuclear' family is the place where the majority of people find intimacy. People universally want to experience love, and they will go through much to have more of it. For some people polyamory is the perfect solution to getting as much love in their lives as they can. I am glad someone is learning all the skills needed to maintain that much love! We can all learn from that.

Non-monogamy in Ebony magazine

Black love was the topic of the February issue of Ebony, a popular and long-running African-American magazine. In it, Arielle Loren contributed an opinion piece entitled "Why I Won't Bow to Monogamy." Citing The Ethical Slut and Sex at Dawn, Loren argues that monogamy may not be natural, neither emotionally nor biologically.

Loren briefly profiles author and love coach Kenya K. Stevens and her husband, Carl, who have been married for 17 years and have had an open marriage for 6. They are "fearlessly honest" with each other, and their relationship style is presented as a worthwhile alternative to traditional monogamy. Loren writes,

In particular, Black America has a fierce attachment to monogamy as our religions and cultural roots shun the idea of polyamory, which is the practice of having more than one open relationship at a time.

. . . Committing to one person for a lifetime without forming any outside romantic bonds is hard work. It’s not impossible, but it’s certainly a tough aspiration, placing an abundance of pressure on the two human beings involved. Perhaps, it wouldn't hurt if we were open to another way.

Read the whole article on Ebony.

[SSEX BBOX] Magazine discusses polyamory

Issue #2 of [SSEX BBOX] Magazine is out, and it's all about relationships and polyamory! The Spring 2012 issue, entitled "It's Complicated," asks questions such as "What characteristics define particular relationship dynamics?", "Is having sex with friends OK?," and "Do our gender identities construct the type of relationship dynamics we embark on?"

[SSEX BBOX] Magazine is the physical manifestation of the [SSEX BBOX] web documentary series, which "expands consciousness by examining and challenging two dimensional, archaic and obsolete understandings of sexuality and gender."

Purchase Issue #2 online here.