Category: Polyamory

Polyamory in Winnipeg, Manitoba

An article on poly relationships was published on the front page of the E section in Manitoba's oldest newspaper, the Winnipeg Free Press. The piece profiles Michelle and Michael, a rural Manitoba married couple who accepted a third partner into their lives when Michelle fell in love with a friend named Liam.

Her feelings for Liam did not negate, trump or interfere with her love for her husband -- which has only deepened and grown for their ability to stay together through the whole experience, Michelle says.

"What I had to learn through this whole process is that fidelity does not have to be defined through exclusivity, she says.

"Polyamoury provided me with a context to make sense of my feelings for both (men), understanding that just as a parent can have deep and equal love for more than one child, so can an adult have deep and equal love for more than one partner."

The article also features interviews with Anlina Sheng, a poly activist and moderator at PolyWinnipeg, and John Ince, a Vancouver lawyer and spokesman for the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association. There is also a nifty sidebar with quotes and poly terminology.

Take the polyamory and marriage survey

The media and academics always want to know how polyamorous people feel about marriage, but no research has been done on the subject. In the interest of learning more, Loving More has sponsored a polyamory and marriage survey, and they are hoping you will participate.

The survey was designed by Curt Bergstrand, Ph.D. (associate professor of sociology at Bellarmine University and co-author of Swinging In America: Sex, Love, and Marriage in the 21st Century) and Jim Fleckenstein (poly activist and researcher, co-founder of the the Chesapeake Polyamory Network). The aim of the research is described as follows:

This survey is the beginning of an ongoing research effort to gain information about the community of individuals who engage in consensual, non-exclusive intimate relationships, or who are philosophically open to doing so, regardless of their current relationship configuration. We undertake this effort in order better to understand this community, its beliefs, practices, and desires, and it's position within the larger mosaic of humanity.

With knowledge comes the ability to better serve this community, to better represent its interests in the public discourse, and to foster understanding, acceptance and non-discrimination in the wider world.

The survey is fairly brief and all responses will be kept confidential. No individually identifying information will be collected.

Take the survey here.

Poly folks on local news TV

People in poly relationships have been getting some local TV attention lately. One segment aired on WJLA Channel 7 in Washington DC. The 2 1/2-minute video segment highlights married couple Anita and Tim Illig and Michael Rios and his girlfriends Jonica Hunter and Sarah Taub (pictured), with some blips from a psychotherapist as well.

Another segment aired around Valentine's Day on WVEC TV-13 in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia. This video segment is about 3 1/2 minutes long and profiles two couples. The interviewees explain how polyamory is different from swinging, how important honest communication is, and how poly people are just as ordinary as monogamous people.

Just a normal family… with more resources

Sierra Black is a woman in an open, poly marriage who blogs about parenting at her blog ChildWild. She has written several pieces online recently about her nontraditional relationships and how they intersect with her parenting. The first, entitled "Our successful open marriage," was published on Salon. In this piece, she discusses her home life and why she is drawn to partners outside her marriage.

Since we've always been poly, I often wonder how monogamous couples do it. I get so much support from my lovers. No one else, not my friends, not my parents, no one, is as willing to deal with the messes and mishaps of parenting as my sweeties. There’s something about romantic intimacy that builds a family-type closeness.

. . . To my kids, this is all normal. I've never had a big sit-down talk about how Mommy and Daddy's marriage is different. They were born into this. We're a big messy family. The kids know I go on grown-up sleepovers sometimes, and take it for granted.

Another piece from Black was published on parenting site Babble. This article is called "What It's Like To Be A Parent In An Open Marriage," and it's a pretty in-depth look at common questions that people have about poly relationships. Black stresses that her life is nothing to be gawked at.

I'm writing this essay because I think it's important to provide images of open marriage that counter the stereotypes. We're just a normal family... who happen to have more resources.

. . . poly families resemble monogamous families in a lot of ways. I just spent an hour talking to my girlfriend about a charter school we're both considering sending our kids to. Last night, my husband's girlfriend came over and sat with my second-grader doing homework while he did bath time with the little one. Our partners are folded into the fabric of our family life.

Black's articles are wonderful; be sure to read them both.