Reflections on dating a couple

Women's entertainment and lifestyle website The Frisky recently featured a frank post from Chloe Monroe about how "remarkably ordinary" it was to be in a triad. Entitled "First Time for Everything: Dating a Couple," the post is a retelling of Monroe's relationship with a couple, which she fell into when she met a man (Greg) who happened to be polyamorous -- and had a girlfriend (Jen).

I decided I could try and we had our first date as a threesome that week. We cooked together at Greg's house, making jokes and giving each other back rubs. We watched "Harold and Maude." Jen wore a beautiful dress and we compared our fashion sensibilities. Greg grilled ribs and let us talk alone quite a bit. That night, well fed and relaxed, I felt very happy and slowly it dawned on me.

This felt so normal. So right. So... not deviant at all.

I suppose the feeling of familiarity and normalcy that washed over me that night would have seemed strange to an outsider. I know that it seemed so to me at the time. How could something as radical as dating a couple be such a non-issue? Honestly, it felt very similar to the beginning of many of my heterosexual, monogamous relationships.

Monroe also writes about the automatic sensation of shame she experienced the first time Jen walked in on her and Greg in bed together. Her fears were assuaged when Jen simply asked if she could join them.

Although the triad broke up after three months, Monroe ends her piece by endorsing her polyamorous experience.

I have no regrets about exploring polyamory. I loved the feeling of being with two people who cared about me and knew that I cared about them. In the end, it came down to incompatibility and circumstances, just like every other failed relationship. The fact that we were a triple had nothing to do with it.

In the future, I hope to find a partner (or partners) who will remain with me for life. Having the option of dating both men and women (and occasionally couples!) has opened up a whole new dating universe for me and I am thrilled to explore it.

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