Author: Tristan Taormino

Loving More’s polyamory retreat one month away

Just a reminder that Loving More's 26th annual polyamory retreat is taking place September 7-9!

The three day, two night retreat will be held at the Easton Mountain Retreat Center in Greenwich, New York, which is located on 175 acres and provides a calming atmosphere in which to unwind, explore, disconnect from technology, and engage with and learn from other polyamorous folks. Feel free to swim, hike, hot tub, and more --  past retreats have included live music, dance parties, snuggling parties, drum circles, and movie nights.

Additionally, there will be over a dozen workshops and playshops from experienced presenters from all around the country. The entire schedule is now available for you to peruse online!

The basic retreat fee includes all meals, use of Easton Mountain facilities, camping, and workshops. A limited number of bunkhouse rooms/beds are available at an extra cost.

Registration is currently $330 for Loving More members. Register online today!

Bloggers weigh in on poly reality show

Ever since Showtime's Polyamory: Married & Dating premiered three weeks ago, the internet has been abuzz with opinions about it.

The blog Modern Poly has reviewed episodes one and two, and has documented the positive and negative reactions to the show on Twitter and beyond. Blogger Kiki lamented the lack of diversity on the show, while Brian Ballard discussed the editing style and Jane Doe asked whether the show plays on stereotypes of poly folks as sex-obsessed and drama-mongering.

Psychologist Deborah Anapol, who has written several books on polyamory and was instrumental in the formulation of the modern poly movement, wrote about the show on Psychology Today, calling the reality format "certainly more enjoyable than parading a poly family or two out to be interviewed by a talk show host and then letting a hostile audience have at them as was the style back in the day."

Polyamory: Married & Dating is also the subject of Polyamory Weekly's latest podcast, in which Minx and LustyGuy discuss the accessibility of the characters and their communication skills.

Also notable are the responses from mainstream, non-poly sources, like this review at A.V. Club, and this article on Gawker, calling the show "the best reality show on TV." The writer asserts that the communication-heavy poly lifestyle is perfect for the interview-based, reality show format. Although some of his attraction to the show is based on its "trashiness," he acknowledges that his fascination has depth:

The emotional articulation of the four described people makes for riveting viewing -- not since the early days of The Real World have I been so obsessed with watching people sit around and babble about themselves and their lives, nor have I so deeply lamented that they only do it for 30 minutes once a week . . . While the show illustrates the emotional complications and possible turmoil that result from loving more than one person, it humanizes those involved to a degree that we've never seen. It is at once a cautionary tale and an argument for the freedom to participate in these kinds of living/loving situations. As such, it is as complicated, strange, hilarious and involving as these situations clearly are themselves.

Polyamory: Married & Dating can be found on Showtime on Thursday nights at 11 p.m.

How to support your partner when they have a baby

More than Nuclear is a blog about polyamory and parenting, written by a poly woman named Freja who gave birth to a daughter about a year ago. The entire blog is fantastic, but the recent post "5 tips for supporting your partner when they have a baby (and it isn't yours)" is especially awesome.

The tips are pretty straightforward -- like offering to change diapers, cook food, and help with household chores -- but all of it comes together to ensure that everyone contributes and bonds as a family. Freja writes,

It's not easy to predict how the recovery will affect the intimacy between you and your partner, even if your partner isn't the one recovering from the birth. The first few weeks are overwhelming, but it will get easier. There is a reason everyone tells you that they grow up so fast. It's a cliché, but they really do. It may seem almost impossible for you to find space to be with your partner now, but things will change incredibly quickly. The two of you can find a way to reconnect, but you'll need to be patient and gentle with the parents, and don't push it.

Read the rest on More than Nuclear.

Tips for dating poly folks when you’re monogamous

Written by DNGG on the sexuality-focused web magazine Fearless Press, "A Mono Girl's Guide to Dating Poly People" is a wonderful collection of tips for monogamous folks navigating the path of dating poly people.

DNGG begins with some background on herself. She has always been open to the concept of non-monogamy, but ultimately decided it wasn't her style:

To a degree, I took a long, hard look at non-monogamy and decided it wasn't for me. Poly seemed slightly more reasonable (assuming I could find a partner that believed in polyfidelity and wanted to keep our circle small). However, in the end, monogamy won out due to my personal preferences. The hard part in all of this is there isn't a great theoretical basis for my decision. I don't consider non-monogamy immoral. Polyamory isn't unnatural or something to be scorned. Those options simply don't work as well as monogamy does for me. I find myself happier when I only need to devote romantic, sexual attention toward one person.

DNGG had not had a huge amount of partners in her time when she happened upon the local kink and BDSM scene. Confronted with an array of alternative relationship structures, she began re-thinking things and dated a poly man for three years.

Having experienced such a relationship and now considering another mono/poly one, DNGG has some excellent tips for working through the "clash of ideologies" that might happen when a monogamous person dates a poly person. Here is tip #2:

Take time to define which aspects of monogamy, non-monogamy, or polyamory are the most important to you and voice them – This may seem like common sense, but many people launch into relationships without first examining what portion of their interactions with others means the most to them. If sex is a deeply emotionally connecting act for you, but your partner sees it as a fun activity that need not involve emotional connectivity, you're likely to have problems. While you don't have to share the exact same views, a monogamous person and a polyamorous person that share some basic beliefs (i.e. sex needs to occur within the bounds of emotional connectivity). This means that future conversations can stem from somewhat common ground.

Read all the tips on Fearless Press.