Author: Tristan Taormino

More press for Jaiya and family

Following their recent appearance in Details magazine and on Anderson Cooper's talk show, sex guru Jaiya Ma and her two partners continue to receive some very prominent press. First, they were interviewed for Great Britain's Daily Mail, in an article that lets the family speak for themselves, telling the story of how they came together, along with personal photos.

Jaiya's family was also the focus of a recent article on ABC News, awkwardly titled, "Polyamory on Rise Among Divorce-Disgusted Americans." Again, the family's arrangement is detailed, including Jaiya's rules for safe sex and check-ins. The article also includes the voice of Robin Trask, Executive Director of polyamory advocacy group Loving More.

Polyamory and sexual subculture in the East Bay

Polyamory was the cover story topic for a recent edition of the alternative Oakland, California newspaper, the East Bay Express. The 3,800-word piece calls polyamory a "veritable subculture" that has grown over time, but questions whether the general public will ever be able to accept it.

The Bay Area in particular, with its long history of free love, its vast network of Burning Man enthusiasts, and its overall progressive ethos, is a natural hotbed for the alternative sex scene. It's a place where avid polyamorists can bring just about anyone into their fold.

Sort of. It turns out that, no matter how successful they've been at negotiating relationships, many polyamorists still have one foot in the closet. And in a world where monogamy is not only well-entrenched but vital to the workings of a property-based society, their scene may always remain marginal.

The article profiles one specific poly relationship and interviews several other people: Christopher Ryan (author of Sex at Dawn), Polly Whittaker (founder of Mission Control), Ned Mayhem, and even Dan Savage. The author does an interesting job of weaving together the threads shared by the poly community and the alternative "sexual underground."

Certainly, not all polyamorists attend sex parties or engage in kink -- many who subscribe to the "open relationship" philosophy still consider themselves fairly vanilla. But the fact that San Francisco has such a vast and well-networked sexual underground benefits them, too, since it makes for a more tolerant environment. It also shows that the alt-sex scene, and by extension, the polyamory scene, isn't just a countercultural fluke.

Read the rest on the East Bay Express.

Handling the holidays while poly

This time of year can be difficult for anyone in a non-traditional relationship, which is why this recent Polyamory Weekly podcast is so important and helpful. The description reads:

Sometimes it's tough to be poly over the holidays. Which relatives are you out to? Can you introduce your lover to your auntie May? How do you schedule family time? Listeners wrote in via Facebook and Twitter to ask the toughest holiday-related poly issues, and cohosts Joreth and Puck help Minx to sort them out . . .

The discussion topics include:

  • How to introduce non-spouses
  • How to prevent your poly-aware daughter from letting closeted poly relationships slip in front of the "in-laws"
  • Is being closeted OK to certain relatives?
  • How do you handle feeling secondary and isolated?
  • How do you manage economic disparities?
  • How do you deal with missing some and disappointing others?

Listen to the podcast for some great tips and advice!

Poly rumblings at Occupy Wall Street

As the Occupy Wall Street movement continues throughout the U.S., writer Rachel R. White took to Zuccotti Park in lower Manhattan and talked to a few protesters about their non-traditional relationships. A six-person poly family were sharing a tent in the park. One member pointed out a shift in modern relationship rituals.

While polyamory might not be the norm, the group says relationships are changing for their generation. "Traditional courtship rituals are not financially possible -- for people here and for our generation as a whole," says Robert. "I've had more girlfriends in the past who I moved in with early on because it was the only thing that was economically feasible."

White also interviewed a married, monogamous couple who are trying to eschew the traditional facets of marriage. They believe communal living could provide the ideal environment for a relationship to thrive.

Catherine . . . hopes that the future of relationships includes a more communal style of living. "Nuclear families can be so isolating," she says. Sebastian points out that even if you believe in nuclear families, that model isn't looking sustainable . . . Living with other couples can provide the nonsexual benefits of polyamory -- you can have a support system while remaining monogamous, and passionately so.

Read the rest on Time Out New York.