The magazine section of the New York Times recently featured a lengthy cover story called "Infidelity Keeps Us Together." The story -- which has sparked much discussion online, due to its subject matter and front-and-center placement in the magazine -- focuses on gay advice columnist Dan Savage and his views on non-monogamy within relationships.
There is some discussion of Savage's marriage, which he describes as "monogamish." As long as each partner is honest and forthright, the couple may have flings with others. Savage explains that opening up his marriage has helped stabilize it.
Savage believes that truthfulness is the key to a happy partnership; if one partner is desiring someone or something else, they should be honest about it.
Some people need more than one partner, he writes, just as some people need flirting, others need to be whipped, others need lovers of both sexes. We can't help our urges, and we should not lie to our partners about them. In some marriages, talking honestly about our needs will forestall or obviate affairs; in other marriages, the conversation may lead to an affair, but with permission. In both cases, honesty is the best policy . . . Treating monogamy, rather than honesty or joy or humor, as the main indicator of a successful marriage gives people unrealistic expectations of themselves and their partners.
Besides delving into Savage's ideas and upbringing, the story also highlights quotes from others regarding Savage's viewpoint.