Tag: dating

New poly dating and social networking sites

OKCupid has been the go-to dating site for some non-monogamous folks over the years, but a new poly-specific dating site might change that.

KōTangle is a global dating site for the ethically non-monogamous created by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá, authors of Sex at Dawn. It's currently in the alpha phase, but new features and functionality are being added soon. The site will eventually include options for content publishing, events listings, forums, and groups.

Ryan and Jethá explain why they chose to embark on this project:

Traveling around the world talking about Sex at Dawn these past two years, I've come to the painful conclusion my audiences were more interested in meeting each other than in watching me give a Power Point presentation about prehistoric sex and monkey balls. Shocking, I know . . . A Sex at Dawn lecture provided an excuse, and a filter, that made it easier for our readers to find each other.

But other than a Sex at Dawn event, where to meet other people who get it? . . . the #1 complaint about our book is that we don't say anything about how to put these ideas into action. Turns out, a lot of people are looking for a sexy, intelligent community without the sleaze and shame typical of many conventional dating or swingers sites.

Ryan and Jethá have big plans for KōTangle. It will be a safe and respectful, Safe for Work community that sponsors regional events and supports sex-positive initiatives. It will be completely free, save for some optional advanced features. These advanced features, which will include access to special events, will be available to anyone who sets up an account prior to the official launch.

Ryan and Jethá are currently looking for recommendations on contributors to the site, as well as suggestions on how best to feature events.

Meanwhile, a Ning-powered poly social networking site called myPolyplace has also sprung up. There are currently over 150 members, with options for blog posts, forums, groups, events, and media sharing.

In-depth guide to poly dating on OKCupid

If you're non-monogamous and want to meet people on dating sites, you can face some unique challenges. Luckily, blogger Kit O'Connell (along with co-blogger Molly Rene) has written a very comprehensive guide on how to utilize OKCupid for poly dating. The guide is broken down into seven sections:

  1. Introduction / What Is OKCupid?
  2. Writing a Dating Profile
  3. Answering Match Questions
  4. Finding People on OKCupid
  5. Meeting People on OKCupid
  6. Extra Features of OKCupid
  7. Conclusion: Finding Polyamorous Love

OKCupid's match questions are particularly useful for finding poly folks, as O'Connell explains:

Though I am a skeptic about personality tests in general, the breadth of the question database means that the site really can make a lot of educated guesses about you. Now that I've answered many questions, polyamorous and kinky people show up by the dozens in my top matches, usually ranking 90% or higher in match compatibility.

Polyana at Polytical has also written a post about her experience with OKCupid. She has found it to be a great resource.

I joined OKCupid to build my own poly-friendly community, and I have not been disappointed. It was where I first became sure that, yes, polyamorous people do exist, and they are perfectly normal. I found plenty of nice and friendly people, happy to connect and generous to share ideas and experiences. I got advice on relationship issues, information about meetings and events, new contacts, book and film recommendations, I have even got some guidance on DIY work. In the meantime, I have been building some nice friendships with people all over the world.

Although OKCupid is not a poly-focused site, the consensus seems to be that its intuitive personality matching system and its large pool of open-minded users make it one of the best dating sites out there.