Progressive love on Dr. Phil

Married relationship coaches Kenya and Carl Stevens, who were profiled briefly in an opinion piece in the February issue of Ebony magazine, were the subjects of a recent epside of Dr. Phil.

Unfortunately, the couple are handled with the same dramatic, in-your-face tone that Dr. Phil is known for. The full show can't be found online, but several clips and a write-up of the appearance are available on Dr. Phil's website. The write-up includes many quotes from the show, in which Carl and Kenya explain how opening up their marriage has enriched their lives.

"When my husband and I went from monogamous marriage to open marriage, everything changed," Kenya says. "I felt like I came out of hiding. My husband came alive. I came alive."

. . . "We practice progressive love," Carl tells Dr. Phil. "It's not just open marriage. Open marriage is a relationship style. It's like monogamy or polygamy, whatever. So, we practice progressive love, and what that means is we're allowed to show up authentically with each other, that we trust each other, and we love each other unconditionally."

Some clips from the show can be found on the pages of the write-up. Kenya wrote about her experience on the show on her blog.

Non-monogamy in Ebony magazine

Black love was the topic of the February issue of Ebony, a popular and long-running African-American magazine. In it, Arielle Loren contributed an opinion piece entitled "Why I Won't Bow to Monogamy." Citing The Ethical Slut and Sex at Dawn, Loren argues that monogamy may not be natural, neither emotionally nor biologically.

Loren briefly profiles author and love coach Kenya K. Stevens and her husband, Carl, who have been married for 17 years and have had an open marriage for 6. They are "fearlessly honest" with each other, and their relationship style is presented as a worthwhile alternative to traditional monogamy. Loren writes,

In particular, Black America has a fierce attachment to monogamy as our religions and cultural roots shun the idea of polyamory, which is the practice of having more than one open relationship at a time.

. . . Committing to one person for a lifetime without forming any outside romantic bonds is hard work. It’s not impossible, but it’s certainly a tough aspiration, placing an abundance of pressure on the two human beings involved. Perhaps, it wouldn't hurt if we were open to another way.

Read the whole article on Ebony.

[SSEX BBOX] Magazine discusses polyamory

Issue #2 of [SSEX BBOX] Magazine is out, and it's all about relationships and polyamory! The Spring 2012 issue, entitled "It's Complicated," asks questions such as "What characteristics define particular relationship dynamics?", "Is having sex with friends OK?," and "Do our gender identities construct the type of relationship dynamics we embark on?"

[SSEX BBOX] Magazine is the physical manifestation of the [SSEX BBOX] web documentary series, which "expands consciousness by examining and challenging two dimensional, archaic and obsolete understandings of sexuality and gender."

Purchase Issue #2 online here.

Poly folks on local news TV

People in poly relationships have been getting some local TV attention lately. One segment aired on WJLA Channel 7 in Washington DC. The 2 1/2-minute video segment highlights married couple Anita and Tim Illig and Michael Rios and his girlfriends Jonica Hunter and Sarah Taub (pictured), with some blips from a psychotherapist as well.

Another segment aired around Valentine's Day on WVEC TV-13 in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia. This video segment is about 3 1/2 minutes long and profiles two couples. The interviewees explain how polyamory is different from swinging, how important honest communication is, and how poly people are just as ordinary as monogamous people.