Category: Media

The media’s renewed interest in open relationships continues

It began when the former wife of GOP presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich told Nightline that Gingrich had once, on the heels of a 6-year affair, asked her for an "open marriage." More and more news stories about the controversy just keep popping up, many of them mentioning non-monogamy in some way.

The latest is a piece from the New York Times entitled "Open marriage's new 15 minutes." The article is a cursory look at the different permutations of non-monogamy, with some quotes from myself, Anita Wagner (organizer of the Polyamory Leadership Network), and others.

If nothing else, Marianne Gingrich’s allegation, which the candidate has denied, provided an unexpected publicity bounce for advocates of open relationships, who have long been trying to paw their way out of the cultural margins.

. . . In the first flush of open marriage in the '70s, there was hardly any way for the curious to find like-minded people. "Then the Internet came along and it was all just a keystroke away," [Janet W. Hardy] said, adding that there are dozens of online forums devoted to the practice today. "It turned from an oddity into a community."

Meanwhile, Modern Poly released a statement about the effect of big news stories like this one on the poly community. The statement is directed at Gingrich.

. . . with every backlash more and more people will come out, non-monogamy will become more and more normalized, more network television shows will be interested in exploring a non-monogamous plot arc, and then sitcoms, and eventually, things will change... And we owe a lot of that to you, Newt, for being the person in power to be scandalized by allegedly asking for a sexually non-exclusive relationship.

So thank you, Newt, for giving us the spotlight, so we can show people all the good ways to practice polyamory and non-monogamy... through honesty, compassion, responsibility, commitment, love, a sex-positive outlook, and a willingness to work through the hard things like boundaries and jealousy. Please--keep doing it wrong, so more people can find their way to us. Because the more you do, the more the movement is fed and ready to start making things better.

Female boxer: polyamorous?

Listening to Weekend Edition on the local NPR station today, I heard an interesting piece, "'I Am A Boxer': Fighter In The Ring, Lady Outside It," about female boxers who hope to make the U.S. Olympic Team for women's boxing. The first woman profiled was Bertha Aracil, a 29 year old amateur boxer. Talking about Aracil, reporter Marianne McCune said this (emphasis mine):

When I met her she was living in a basement apartment in the Bronx with a man and a woman she called her husband and her wife. They were cooking for a band of nieces, nephews, and sisters, part of a big family of Cuban immigrants. Aracil is 5'9" with jeans, boots, she says that her many tattoos tell the story of who she is.

Whoa, what? That's right. Not only was Aracil clearly open about her nontraditional and nonmonogamous (polyamorous?) relationship, but the NPR reporter treated it as completely ordinary, just part of the profile. Unfortunately, this little item is missing from the written piece on npr.org, but you can download the audio of the segment here.

Triad on National Geographic’s “Taboo”

An equilateral triad family from the San Francisco area was recently profiled in National Geographic's show Taboo, in an episode entitled "Odd Couples." The family consists of two men and a woman who have been together for 17 years and are raising a teenager.

In 8 seasons of the show, National Geographic has turned the spotlight on many anthropological practices, such as voodoo, body modification, and initiation rituals, while also tackling topics that are merely unusual, such as strange pets and peculiar foods. Filming of the family took place last June, and there was trepidation over how the segment would be edited.

Thankfully, the family was treated respectfully. Alan M. describes the segment:

What a sweet portrayal it turned out to be, from start to finish! Cuddly kindness and family warmth; intelligence and thoughtfulness -- and such a steady smooth flow was evident among these people after their 17 years together. There was some mostly good commentary by a few talking-head experts (Helen Fisher, Peter Singer, Elisabeth Sheff). The 15-year-old in particular was articulate, perceptive, and proud to have so many good parental figures. The show went on for nearly 20 minutes including commercial breaks. It ended with them making a trip to Redwood Forest National Park (above), where they have an annual ritual of renewing their wedding vows.

Check National Geographic's schedule for air times. The episode cannot be found online at the moment, but you can watch a 3-minute preview on National Geographic's website.

A polyfi triad on ABC’s “Private Practice”

Thursday's season premiere of ABC's "Private Practice," a medical drama that chronicles the lives of a group of doctors and patients, contained a surprisingly sympathetic poly-oriented subplot! Alongside other subplots, there's a polyfi triad -- two women and a man -- who want to have a child together, and the doctors assist them in their journey.

Alan M. describes the poly subplot in full:

In comes a nice, seemingly conventional lesbian couple, Kendra and Rose, to interview with the fertility specialist. They've been together six years and want a child -- one woman will be the egg donor, the other will bear the baby. Also along for the interview is the intended sperm donor, Evan . . . When the counselor advises the women that they need to have him sign away parental rights, they balk, and the truth comes out: they're not actually conventional at all.

"We're all in love," they reveal, holding hands.

"We know it sounds crazy—"

As they're explaining: "That first night was amazing. And, so was the next morning. And, every morning after that. Most mornings."

. . . The docs in the practice discuss it among themselves. "A what?" "A polyamorous triad." They debate. "...That's the same argument that said interracial and same-sex couples shouldn't have children." The docs come to agreement: they will do the egg fertilization and implant, as the three wish.

But this is a TV drama, right? An ultrasound reveals a problem.

Read the rest of Alan M.'s account to find out how the storyline resolves itself. Or better yet, check out the 43-minute episode on ABC's website or on Hulu.