Pennsylvania appeals court sets legal precedent in custody case

Last December, a trial was held to determine the custody of two children. The maternal grandparents had filed a petition asking that either they or the mother be awarded primary custody, which led to the father and mother each filing for primary physical custody. At the trial, it became known that the parents had previously engaged in polyamorous relationships. Despite the fact that the children's' therapist testified that they were not harmed by this, the judge awarded primary physical custody and sole legal custody to the grandparents.

The mother could not afford filing an appeal, but the father could, and did. Just nine months later, he has won, and the court order was overturned -- awarding him full custody of the children.

Nancy Polikoff, a law professor who has worked gay and lesbian family law issues for 35 years, wrote a timeline of the case and how the ruling came to be overturned. It had a lot to do with the appeals court's view that the judge unfairly penalized the father for his past polyamorous relationships.

The appeals court said the judge interjected "artificial morality concerns" into its determination, something not permitted by the list of factors in the custody statute.  Although the trial judge claimed otherwise, the appeals court found that the judge's "general disfavor of polyamory" played a role in the decision.  At the time of the trial the father was no longer in a polyamorous relationship.  They appeals court noted that "while ultimately unsuccessful, his former experimentation with that lifestyle did not harm the children and does not currently affect the children negatively."  The appeals court called polyamory "a nontraditional sexual practice," but considered it analogous to other cases in which a parent's previous sexual conduct was found irrelevant absent evidence of harm to the child.

Sex figured into this case in another way.  The trial court considered the father's wife's friendship with a professional dominatrix and her blog post in which she described herself as a "closet poly."  The appeals court found that "the trial court's preoccupation with these morality issues is improper, particularly where, as here, there is a dearth of evidence to suggest that the sexual practices affected the children at all."

The good news about this is that the court's decision will be entered into Pennsylvania case law, making it an official legal precedent in the state.

Want to be in a potential second season of Polyamory: Married & Dating?

Natalia Garcia (center) and the season 1 quad

Showtime has yet to make a decision on whether they'll renew Polamory: Married & Dating for a second season, but show creator and director Natalia Garcia is hoping to recruit and interview more poly families just in case. Here is the bulk of her call for interested folks, posted in various places online:

I'm reaching out in hopes of speaking with poly families interested in possibly sharing their story with me. I'm looking for polyamorous families that are charismatic, healthy, active; can be unmarried but practicing poly (don't all have to live together); bisexuality is welcome in both male and female partners; and are open to sharing all aspects of their love lives. Families in Canada are welcome as well.

As I think you have seen, I am a person of integrity and my intent is to portray polyamorists as loving, mature adults who are capable of carrying on multiple loving relationships in a world that has programmed us for monogamy. I've had so many people reach out to me, mono people struggling in their relationships telling me the show changed their lives for the better. Despite what Dr. Drew said, I believe 100% that Polyamory is a sustainable way of living -- and I would like to continue the pro-Polyamory conversation in the mainstream.

Alan M. also did an interview with Garcia asking about the show's performance. Showtime was very happy with the series, she explains, and it did very well, especially for a new series with barely any promotion. She also elaborates on what she's looking for as she moves forward in finding more families:

I would like to add some parameters of the families I'm looking for: 25 to 50, camera friendly, and open to letting us into the bedroom. All male, all female, V's -- all poly formations are welcome. They should have or try to watch the series to understand what would be expected of them. Also, if people could send a picture when they inquire, that helps me keep track of everyone -- and there's a lot people to keep track of!

Garcia asks that anyone interested email her at natstertv [at] yahoo [dot] com.

Amanda Palmer reveals open relationship

Amanda Palmer, photo by Kambriel

Musician Amanda Palmer, most well known for being the singer, pianist, and writer in The Dresden Dolls, recently sat down with Out Magazine. The plan was to discuss her fan base, but the conversation -- and subsequent article -- went a slightly different direction when the interviewer asked Palmer about her relationship and her sexuality.

Palmer, who is legally married to author Neil Gaiman, took the opportunity to share that their relationship is non-monogamous. Considering Palmer's boisterous personality, she was probably never trying to hide this facet of her relationship, but some recent controversy has prodded her to talk more in-depth about her relationship with both Gaiman and her fans.

I've never been comfortable in a monogamous relationship in my life. I feel like I was built for open relationships just because of the way I function. It's not a reactive decision like, 'Hey I'm on the road, you're on the road, let's just find other people.' It was a fundamental building block of our relationship. We both like things this way . . . We're very communicative with each other and we share everything. I think that's the way you gotta do it . . . Neil and I fall more and more in love with each other every day, and I think part of that is because we encourage each other to say more, share more, to peel ourselves open to each other in the middle of the night when the day is done and the real talking happens. It's not always easy, the peeling sometimes hurts, but the deep love it fosters is clear to see.

Bringing things back to the original topic of the interview, Palmer explained how her open relationship is informed by her close relationship with her fans:

A strong and intimate relationship with your fanbase really does kind of function like a committed partner relationship. It is the 'other' to whom you're communicating and sharing your life, time and energy, and the thing that can suck your attention -- and even your sexual energy -- away from your real-life partner. A real relationship with your fanbase is a longterm, committed relationship; I've been in a relationship with my fans for 13 years.

Read the whole thing on Out Magazine.

Canada’s The Globe and Mail talks poly

Canada's largest national newspaper, The Globe and Mail, came out with an article on polyamory that is surprisingly non-judgmental. Although it doesn't offer much more than a cursory look at the community, it does a good job of explaining what polyamory is about to those who may have questions.

The article begins by mentioning recent newsworthy poly stuff, such as the three-person civil union in Brazil and the Showtime reality show. It gives some history of the movement, mentions some public figures and books (including Opening Up), and discusses last December's Supreme Court decision in British Columbia. The author also makes the distinction between polyamory and polygamy.

The crux of the article, though, are the quotes from Natalia Garcia (creator and executive producer of Polyamory: Married & Dating), Elisabeth Sheff (sociologist who has studied polyamorous families for years), an anonymous poly couple, and Kamala Devi (one of the cast members of Polyamory: Married & Dating).

It's a pretty great introductory article to the world of polaymory as it stands today. Read the whole thing at The Globe and Mail.