Category: Open Relationships

Poly Coloradans talk to Out Front Colorado

The June issue of LGBT publication Out Front Colorado includes the headline "What We Can All Learn from the Poly Lifestyle." The article, written by the fabulous Shanna Katz, is moreso just about polyamory in general. It includes quotes from a Boulder relationship therapist as well as interviews with a few poly Coloradans. The quote that spurred the headline comes from the therapist, Dr. Jenni Skyler, who says:

Those who already operate from a place of non-monogamy, or are making the move to do so from a place of safety and trust, often find great benefits in the relationship as it pertains to communication. In short, non-monogamous relationships force partners to communicate deeply and to work with jealousy.

Read the rest on the Out Front Colorado website.

“Polyamory” reality series premieres on Showtime this Thursday

What an exciting development! Showtime has announced a new reality show, "Polyamory: Married and Dating," which will premiere Thursday, July 12th. The season will consist of seven half-hour episodes which will air on Thursdays from July 12th through August 23rd, with reruns several times each week. The show will document the trials and tribulations of several non-monogamous relationships.

The show is described on its website:

This provocative reality series takes an inside look at non-monogamous, committed relationships that involve more than two people. Lindsey and Anthony are married, but live in a triad (three-way relationship) with their girlfriend, Vanessa. Husband and wife Michael and Kamala (who have a young son) are adjusting to having two of their lovers, fellow married couple Jen and Tahl, move in with them. This explicit look at modern-day polyamory follows characters grappling with the emotional and sexual drama of sharing their hearts, as well as their beds.

I'm looking forward to seeing how everything is portrayed. Showtime isn't a network to shy away from sexual content, so it should be especially interesting.

In celebration of the new show, there will be a viewing party at the Victory Theater in downtown San Diego on July 28th. Afterward, there will be a Q&A with director Natalia Garcia and participants Lindsey, Anthony, Vanessa, and the San Diego family.

OpenSF keynote prompts coming out

There has been some awesome coverage of the OpenSF conference. Stories about the conference were published in the San Francisco Bay Guardian, Oakland Local, and Bay Area Reporter, and there are some great personal accounts from attendees scattered around the internet as well.

But my favorite post was from Nice Girl of the blog Nice Girls Like Sex Too. Called "I Am Coming Out," it's a direct response to the call to action in my OpenSF keynote -- asking folks to live their lives as openly as they can, especially if they don't outwardly appear to be members of marginalized groups. And it's wonderful.

I have been the direct beneficiary of the bravery of so many other people in the marginalized communities I identify with, and yet I have refused to speak publicly about my membership in these communities. So, as I take a deep breath, I am going to come out to you all. Right now.

I am kinky. I enjoy BDSM style sex, with spanking, restraints, blindfolds, collars, whips, paddles, corsets, and addressing my partner as "Sir" when we are engaging in this sort of play . . . I am a happier and healthier person for it.

. . . My boyfriend and I are considering non-monogamy. At the time of writing this post, we are still unsure what that non-monogamy will look like, but the OpenSF conference has given us the tools, the language, and the support of a community as we explore this space. Our relationship and interpersonal communication has already improved dramatically.

. . . I have answered Tristan's call to action, and I am now issuing one of my own. It is so incredibly important that those of us who have the privilege of appearing mainstream to publicly proclaim our membership to the marginalized, demonized, and ostracized communities who have given us so much . . . Come out. Our world will be brighter when you do.

Read the whole thing at Nice Girls Like Sex Too.

Gay and poly in Manhattan

A gay triad is the subject of a new short documentary from producers Nilo Tabrizy and Suvro Banerji. Entitled Polyamorous Relationships in New York City, the 6-minute film profiles a closed triad of three men living in Manhattan (and squeezing into a queen-sized bed, no less!). The men have been together for two years, after married couple Franco and Mark met and fell in love with Vinny.

The documentary features footage of the men at home and around New York City, interviews with the triad about the multiple layers to their relationship, and an interview with research scientist Gilles Herrada.

A text description of the documentary, with many quotes, can be found on Out. Gay.net also wrote about the documentary, explaining why there's a rift in the LGBT community when it comes to relationships like this one:

Some gays are simply uncomfortable with this notion -- much like many heterosexuals -- and either don't understand the concept or simply reject it. Others in the LGBT community get angered when they hear about these relationships, thinking it's politically bad for gay people and reinforces stereotypes that we're a deviant subculture. Still other gay men have a "live and let live" philosophy towards polyamory, or feel that because we're already considered outsiders and sexual outlaws in mainstream society that we have the right and responsibility to not play by society's rules.