Open Relationships – Page 21

The Righteous Harlot opens up

Writing for the new community blog Awesome Women of Twitter, The Righteous Harlot — whose personal blog features the tagline the messy back end of an open relationship — contributed a post entitled "As In, To Swing?"

It's a sort-of run-down of how she came to be in an open relationship with her partner, Virgil (she doesn't really identify as a swinger). She also includes some of the lessons she's learned so far about being open:

If you're going to be happy in an open relationship you have to be open to more than just your partner having sex [or relationships] with other people. You have to be open to life and to allowing lots of things to be fluid and less certain. This is probably the hardest bit, to be honest.

You also have to sort your shit out and work out what you actually want from your relationships rather than what society has taught you is your right to expect.

Don't give a shit about other people and what they might think. A lot of people will have a pretty simplistic knee-jerk reaction to the idea. It’s your life. Make your own choices.

Read the rest at Awesome Women of Twitter.

Poly lesbians in Cherrie magazine

Cherrie is a monthly Australian magazine that covers lesbian, bisexual, queer, transgender and intersex news and entertainment. In their April issue, and for the first installment of a new series called "Modern Love," the magazine profiled two relationships, one of them a lesbian poly one. Tathra and Emma had been dating for five years when a third person, Jac, began seeing Emma. Now they live together.

Having an ethical polyamorous relationship that works, is based on agreements. For these women, it's clear and simple. Don't bitch about each other. If any of them have a disagreement it must get resolved before they sleep with someone else. Keep in open communication and even talk about it as a group. Schedule date nights. Don't take each other for granted. Be present with whomever you're with in the moment.

. . . The bond between the three of them is palpable. I'm moved by their maturity and the depth to examine who they are in relationships. Jac says, "Even jealousy is not forbidden or taboo."

Read the rest from Cherrie.

Brits making open relationships work

Arianne Cohen has been in an open relationship for three years, so in this story she wrote for Britain's The Guardian, she begins with the tale of her relationship. But she also profiles several other poly configurations.

Cohen lets the folks speak for themselves, so the article is chock full of quotes from people in various types of open relationships, as they discuss the logistics of their relationships and how being open works for them.

Cohen muses:

This seems to be a particularly British take on non-monogamy: comfort with the act, mixed with a compulsive need for privacy. Doing it? Fine. Speaking about it? Never. Claire struggles to articulate this side of her life. "It doesn't come up terribly often, because most of the people to whom I might be describing it already know. I guess if I was describing it, I'd say 'open'. Of our larger friend group of 25, it's not new. Maybe a third are currently in open relationships." I asked Claire if anyone had ever reacted badly. "Not recently, and possibly not ever," she says. Her advice for other potential non-monogamists is straightforward: "Think first. Discuss first. Don't be an idiot. Rules of life, really."

Read the rest on The Guardian.

Don’t miss the OpenSF conference in June!

Have you registered for OpenSF yet? The OpenSF Conference will be held at the Holiday Inn Golden Gateway in San Francisco, June 8-10, and I'm keynoting! A description of the conference:

OpenSF is a vibrant new Bay Area conference, bringing together like minded people ready to share, explore and dialogue on creating acceptance of the non-monogamy community. OpenSF will have a diverse and rich menu of workshops, interactive seminars and after hours socializing. OpenSF strives to be welcoming and accessible across a range of backgrounds including race and ethnicity, sex, gender, sexual orientation, size, age, class and economic access, and physical and mental ability. Our goal is to create a conference where people find wonderful knowledge and experiences and forge amazing new connections.

Read all about the conference's sessions, presenters, and special events (such as a play party and speed dating!).