Category: Open Relationships

Opening up as a gay male couple

"The Gay Male Couple's Guide to Nonmonogamy" is an article from The Advocate about gay men in open relationships, with tips on how to open a relationship and maintain happiness within it. The piece begins with interviews with several couples whose relationships were monogamous for many years before the men decided to open them up.

The article's focus is on solid primary relationships and agreed-upon sex outside the relationship. Therapists, a psychologist, and a psychiatrist give their input on what couples can do to ensure success with an open relationship of this type. Not surprisingly, their advice centers around honest communication and established boundaries.

Despite the perils it presents, nonmonogamy can be a source of great satisfaction. "I've actually seen many couples develop more compassion and trust in the course of the relationship when they are open and clear that they really want each other to be free, honest, and happy," says [clinical psychologist] Huber. "Sex is a very powerful, vital source of joy when explored deeply."

Read the rest on The Advocate. The second page of the article features a checklist of things to talk about before opening your relationship.

World premiere of Yes, We’re Open this Sunday

A fictional film about non-monogamy will be making its debut this Sunday at the 30th San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival -- and as the Centerpiece Presentation, no less! The feature film, Yes, We're Open, was written by H.P. Mendoza and directed by Richard Wong. It was filmed in just 16 days in the San Francisco Bay Area, and acquired post-production funding with the help of a successful Kickstarter campaign.

The synopsis:

LUKE and SYLVIA think of themselves as a modern couple -- always in the know and open to new experiences. Enter ELENA and RONALD -- a provocative polyamorous couple that challenge Luke and Sylvia's status in their circle of friends and with each other. With temptation around the corner, Luke and Sylvia must figure out where they really stand on love, sex, and honesty.

The premiere will take place at the historic Castro Theatre this Sunday, March 11th. Tickets can be purchased online here, where you can also read a more detailed synopsis.

Be sure to follow the film on Facebook and Twitter for info on future screenings.

Progressive love on Dr. Phil

Married relationship coaches Kenya and Carl Stevens, who were profiled briefly in an opinion piece in the February issue of Ebony magazine, were the subjects of a recent epside of Dr. Phil.

Unfortunately, the couple are handled with the same dramatic, in-your-face tone that Dr. Phil is known for. The full show can't be found online, but several clips and a write-up of the appearance are available on Dr. Phil's website. The write-up includes many quotes from the show, in which Carl and Kenya explain how opening up their marriage has enriched their lives.

"When my husband and I went from monogamous marriage to open marriage, everything changed," Kenya says. "I felt like I came out of hiding. My husband came alive. I came alive."

. . . "We practice progressive love," Carl tells Dr. Phil. "It's not just open marriage. Open marriage is a relationship style. It's like monogamy or polygamy, whatever. So, we practice progressive love, and what that means is we're allowed to show up authentically with each other, that we trust each other, and we love each other unconditionally."

Some clips from the show can be found on the pages of the write-up. Kenya wrote about her experience on the show on her blog.

[SSEX BBOX] Magazine discusses polyamory

Issue #2 of [SSEX BBOX] Magazine is out, and it's all about relationships and polyamory! The Spring 2012 issue, entitled "It's Complicated," asks questions such as "What characteristics define particular relationship dynamics?", "Is having sex with friends OK?," and "Do our gender identities construct the type of relationship dynamics we embark on?"

[SSEX BBOX] Magazine is the physical manifestation of the [SSEX BBOX] web documentary series, which "expands consciousness by examining and challenging two dimensional, archaic and obsolete understandings of sexuality and gender."

Purchase Issue #2 online here.